I wanted the wings. The feathers that my family had.
The beautiful plumage that they would preen about.
As I got older the feathers seemed less significant.
The differences more pronounced.
My parents and siblings seemed so bent on helping everyone. Preventing death, sickness when they could.
I preferred the company of the dead. The internet provides wonderful answers to so many questions, I suppose that's how I got started on my path.
We mingled with humans often. My siblings were always adept at hiding their wings. Soon I begin to think that I was a mutant. Maybe that is why I was such a whispered secret among my parents. Perhaps adopted. I fit in better with these humans than I did with my family. Especially the 'goth' kids, who's clique I discovered in middle school.
Their black makeup, dark music, and over all negative attitude seemed to fit my disposition. And time passed by quickly those first years in the human world. I noticed the dead bodies begin to speak back to me.. even from six feet under dirt I could sometimes hear things. I delved further into necromantic practices. Finding books at the local 'mystical' store, I begin to try and learn magic. Elemental stuff, archanic rituals. The darker spells came easily to me, and I found myself alienating from even my goth friends.
About the time I got my period, I noticed I begin to have nightmares. But I was never running from the monster in my dreams... I was the monster. We lived in a place with fickle weather, but once the nightmares started, our weather became even more unpredictable. My parents begin to whisper about me when they thought I couldn't hear.
I could hear everything...
Shortly before I left for college, a whispered argument met my ears. The phrase that stuck out was, 'The sins of the father shall be laid upon the children'
Not wanting to know what that meant, I blocked out any other sounds and continued to pack. I was human in my mind. The things I did in the dark of the night, while my door was locked, or when I was in the graveyard was just coincidences.
School provided a welcome distraction. I threw myself into my studies and when the nightmares grew worse, more vivid I sought help. That is when I found .. .him.
Since my dreams seemed demonic in nature, I begin to go to the chapel for confession. One of the priests there seemed very understanding about what I was envisioning.
We grew closer, as one would expect. He quickly became the only priest I would confess to. I ... felt like I could tell him anything. And so I did. Every detail of my dreams. My visits became daily. Sometimes the only thing that got me through my classes as the nightmares grew worse, was knowing I would be seeing him.
He told me I couldn't keep confessing to him. I think he felt the same feelings brewing that I did. I was never allowed to mingle with guys outside of school, so it was so unfamiliar to me. This gnawing, growing hunger to see him, touch him.
I made my way back to the dorm that night, upset, torn. My vision begin to cloud as anger rose it's head. The weather outside begin to change as well, and as I tried to fight my anger, there was an overwhelming feeling of ... power. I felt like the walls of my dorm were closing so I fled outside in my nightgown and once I was outside, I threw my head back and howled, in pain, frustration. I screamed at the heavens, cursed them for whatever was wrong with me.
The storm began then. The thunder clapped, the lightning crashed to the ground. The wind howled around me, and I did the only thing I could think of. I ran back to the chapel...
The next few hours were a blur. I remember, stuff, but not all of it. I do remember when I came to, I was in a pool of blood, several limbs around me like a demented alter. I had horns, my eyes black, tentacles lashing out from my back. My first thought was ... After the priest and I had... our moment I had killed him, but after my parents came and cleaned me up, I was escorted outside. From the steps of the dorm were the slaughter had happened I seen him. He wasn't dressed in his robes, but in khakis and a red shirt. Our eyes met, and time stopped for a moment. My parents just ushered me into the waiting car, growling at each other under their breaths.
I was kept a prisoner for the next two days. I paced the floor, climbing the walls. I begged my parents to let me go, that I'd disappear and never disgrace their doorstep again. On the second night of my imprisonment, I heard the locks on the door being undone. I jumped up, thinking they were going to let me go, but suddenly my world was a mess of blackness and pain. And that was the last thing I remember of that world.
Those words echo in my mind as I come to.
I'm groggy, but I'm wet, and on something cold and hard...
I force myself off the sidewalk and stumble to the nearest building, it's empty but its dry... I collapse in the corner and immediately lose consciousness again.
'The storm rages outside the chapel, lightning hitting so very close as she burst through the doors, her hair plastered to her head and face looking almost like blood, her long white nightgown almost sheer from being soaked from the rain outside. "Father, I have sinned!" she screeched, and there was a banging door from behind the pulpit. The priest came out, clearly startled at her appearance. "My dear girl, you are going to catch your death!" he admonished her as he adjusted his own pajamas, seeing her there made some of his recent dreams all too real. Once he reached her, she flung her arms around his neck, sobbing as she pressed her cheek against his. "Father I am what I am so scared of... I caused this storm. All the nightmares, they have happened..." He groaned feeling her warm body pressed against his, and though he knew he'd regret it, he wrapped his arms around her, "Shhh child, these are just more of your delusions... more of your dreams..." She cut him off and pulled back staring at him, and for the first time since they initially met, he seen something more in her eyes. Darkness swirled in the pale blue orbs he had found himself lost in more than once. "I need to confess something else..." her whisper was hoarse as her arms tightened around his neck. "I'm in love with you..."
Shit. The drugs are finally wearing off, and the memories of one of my last nights at home fades away. I look outside and there is a storm brewing, I don't even need my newly manifested powers to tell me that. I push myself up once more and make my way outside, and begin to explore my home, memorizing areas that may be important. The town seems quiet right now, an occasional glimpse of one or two people prove I'm not completely alone at least. I find my way back to the empty building and lay back down, the fact I'm not alone is a small comfort, but very small compared to what I was torn from.
'The storm continued to rage as she clung to the priest, and his heart begin to race. "Child, no, you are confusing confidant for lover. Its common, you came to me seeking help and I provided it. That is it my dear girl." He brushed her hair from her eyes, his fingertips lingering on her face. "No... I love you... I know what that is. Please... don't take this away from me. I've lost everything." her voice was a soft pleading whimper as she clung to him. He couldn't ignore the stirring in his body. Her face, her form had haunted his dreams for far too long. With a groan he lowered his mouth to hers, and as the storm raged outside he took her. Quite possibly being the reason she had snapped...'
I wake up once more, and once more the dream ends. With a grunt I make my way back outside and begin to explore once more. I have my first conversation with someone... they offer me a place to sleep at least that has a dirty mattress. But by this point I'm not picky... I just want to sleep some more, to see if I can grasp more of my memories.