Blast from the past...

Seiphere... my vampire and demonic sire, my former... whatever you want to call him, is back.  The day I walked into the church and seen him... it was as if my world started to spin in the other direction.  It had been so long since I had seen him, spoken to him, touched him...  It does not escape my sense of irony that after I had a  conversation with his creator that he reappeared in Tox...  His reappearance however has added to the confusion that is, what seems to be lately, my brain.  As a vampire emotions were simple.  We didn't have them. As an angel now... I do have them and they are hateful things.  Shea and I have gotten close... he stood watch over me when Rollo and Russ brought me back to the church.  He guards me when Denny's not around... and... feelings have developed but with Seiphere back... its an entirely different ballgame.  Seiphere has changed, he's more.... well he's not trying to rip my eyes out or drain me like he used to.  He seems to enjoy my company as well as my very.. presence.  So I am torn between an Angel and a Demon...  Denny would rip me a new one, and probably a few more if he found out I was even on speaking terms with Sei.  His ... kill all demons order has never been as hard to follow as it is now.

Speaking of Denenthorn, he is back.  I was overjoyed to see him back and in one piece.  I actually hugged him... before realizing what I was doing and stopped.  He angers me though... he acts as if Spectre is undefeatable.  Everyone, even Satan himself has a weakness.... I feel like he's keeping something from me.... but I cannot force it out of him, nor do I want to.  the being that fixed my wings told me more than Denny did about Spectre... I may be able to defeat him, but if I do... I may risk dying myself and I do not think Death will let me back again.  It was weird, that thing that took over Denny's body.  He followed me, spoke to me, but only me... however he granted me my immortality back... thats all that really matters to me.

Since I've gotten back to my tasks, and my duties on the council, my days are a little busier, but not as full as I would like.  The Shadows are eerily quiet... I haven't seen Jan around so I suppose he left them as well.  I see Esso, and Sandra... as well as a couple of the newer darkie darks, but the house as a whole I feel is falling.  I suppose this is supposed to give me a sense of pride and accomplishment, but it doesn't.  What is light without darkness to balance it out?

Something strange has been happening since I came back from Spectre... I feel more restless than normal.  Its like I have an itch I can't scratch, like I'm suddenly trapped in my skin.  Theres also almost a dull.... thrumming through my body constantly.  A dull ache perhaps?  But not painful, just...  letting me know, it wants something I am not providing it.  Theres a voice inside my head, that repeats itself over and over, telling me what I need... but its really more of a buzz and if I concentrate enough, it goes away, sometimes.  I need pain... it tells me that, but it wouldn't be appropriate for a Herald, Denenthorn's daughter to boot, to go seeking a shadow to hurt her like I used to do so long ago.  So I fight it.  The days stretch on...

Spectre came a'knockin

((((((((((((((WARNING THIS BLOG CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE!!
And I will be editing, tweaking things as the story develops...))))))

He was there... almost as if he was waiting on me as I started toward my room. There in the lobby. I shook it off and got on the elevator, quickly locking myself in my room. Once there, I begin to pack my bags, I was leaving the next morning. Once done, I hopped in the shower, shrugging off the illusion I used to hide my wings.

There was a knock at my door. Wrapping a towel around myself, I curse, and try to open the door at an angle so that I can hide my wings. No one . was there. Huffing I turn around, and suddenly I find myself face to face with him. The one Denny warned me about. "Hello daughter of Denenthorn." he smiled. I hissed at him and tried to ease around him toward the window. "Hello Spectre...."

"Ah I see the dear prince explained who I was." he laughs as he takes off his hat and does a sweeping sort of bow in front of me. "Not really," I reply, making my towel turn into a robe, then I tighten the rope around it. "Just warned me about some skinny fuck I should avoid." He laughs at me and leans against my door, waving his hands making bars appear over my window. "Perhaps he should have kept you under his wing then..." He looks me over, and I feel the urge to take another shower. "Pretty little girl like you should not be alone..."

I huffed and turned away from him, the robe melting into jeans and a sweatshirt, covering as much as my body as possible. "Fuck off." I growl, and again he laughs. "Oh, yes, he really should have kept you in his nest... " Spinning around I summon my blades, growling out a challenge. Once more, he laughs, and then my world went dark.

I came to, chained to a table. I tested them, and they burned into my flesh. My wings are somehow in the table, and I'm naked. Spectre walks in with a sheet, and covers me to my neck with it. "Tsk tsk angel." he says. "Can't be showing the naughty bits to your parents now can you?" At the word parents I raise my head. "Parents are dead fucker... " I mutter. "Savannah... " said another voice from one of the shadowy corners of the room. Immediately my head whips toward the source and I can't believe it.

My parents. I can't speak, I can't move. Tears begin to well in my eyes as I stare. "My darling girl..." my mother cries out and runs to me, wiping the tears away, my dad directly behind her. SObs begin to wrack my body, and I struggle harder against the chains, wanting nothing more than to wrap my arms around them. As the smell of my burning flesh fills the room, Spectre speaks. "Savannah..." he says softly. "Your parents are so forgiving, I'm jealous."

"Forgiving?" my dad asks looking at him. "What ... do you mean?" Spectre smiles at my parents. "Well your 'darling' girl here is the reason you died... isn't that right Savannah?" He turns his yellow eyes to me and I shake my head looking to mom and dad. "No... no I never wanted you two to die.. you believe me right? I mean I never would have said no if I knew...." I choke off my words as I begin to sob harder, the tears streaming. Both of my parents look at me horrified. "Thats right.." my mom says softly. "I remember now.. I begged you Savannah... begged you to let us come stay with you... you said no."

I shook my head even more furiously. "no.. please... I didn't know... please.. if I had known... I love you." I cried out then screamed as I seen them begin to age before my eyes. their flesh beging to flake off, as they kept staring at me, accusing me of their deaths. I literally watched them decompose before my eyes, their accusations echoing in my ears. "Lovely parents..." Spectre said. "Too bad you killed them eh?" He shrugged and stripped the sheet off my body, laying it over their remains. I can't speak, the sobs cutting off anything I could or would save to redeem myself. Besides, what redemption is there for one that killed their own flesh and blood?

As I lay there, spectre stepped closer to me, putting a hand on either side of his head. "Renounce your creator." he said coldly, "It will be all the much better for you if you do... curse his name and you'll walk away now..." I shook my head no, unable to speak. He smiled at me, such a cold, heartless grin he had. Tilting his head down, I thought he was going to kiss me, and I felt the bile rise. But instead he kissed my forehead. "Then he will see your fate." he whispered, and clasped my head between his hands. Suddenly I seen Denny, at his desk reading. I screamed for him to run, something but spectre laughed.

"Oh no luv.." he said laughing as he stepped back around my body. "Save your breath, you'll need it angel." I couldn't see what he was doing, but shortly he returned with a length of wire and walked around to my head. I could feel his hands on my wings. His fingers started at where the bone met the skin, and he gently ran his hands down the length of them. "See... since you won't curse HIM... lets try a little test... lets see if I can get you to not curse anything yeah?"

He begin to wind the wire around my wings, threading it through my feathers. He then dropped a cloth over my head stating I couldn't see what he was doing. It was a surprise. I could hear him step away from me, then there was a slight bit of pressure where he had wrapped the wire. "Alrighty princess." he almost cooed as he pulled a chair or something next to me. "The more you scream.. the more Denny will hear you. BUT... the more you scream... the more your wings will break..." He lifts the cloth up and smiles at me. "Doesn't that sound like fun?" Suddenly he stands back up, and walks away, leaving me to my thoughts for a bit. Again I test my binds, and once more the smell of burnt flesh fills the room.

I do not know how much time passed, but he returned, with a rolling tray. I could hear metal bouncing against metal, so I'm sure he had the tray full of tools. "Are you sure you won't renounce your maker? Curse your creator?" he asked as he bent over, his head inches from mine. "Fuck.." I answered drawing out the word, "You." He shook his head. "Not right now..." he said and pulled his first contraption out, forcing my mouth open and shoving it in. It was the same tool that Denny had used on the demon that we tortured. It forced my mouth open and held it there. "SInce you won't use that tongue for what I want you to, you don't need it." He then stuck what looked like a large pair of pliers in my mouth and gripped my tongue pulling it out. Using his free hand, he reached back, pulling a scapel from the tray. He then slowly and methodically removed my tongue, taking what seemed like forever to do it.

Of course I screamed... someone taking so long to do something so quick. The moment I did though, I heard something behind me click, and there was a tug, my wings being forced to bend away from my body. I stopped but was sputtering blood from where he had cut my tongue, the wound was pouring, aided by the fact that my heart was racing a mile a minute. I spit blood in his face, and he simply wiped it off then grabbed a straw. "Can't let this go to waste." he said then stuck the straw in my mouth, and drank my blood till I could breath again.

Taking that same scapel, he begin to make small cuts and carvings all over my body. That wasn't so bad. I kept my mouth shut, other than to turn my head and spit blood out. He worked for awhile then stepped back, admiring his 'artwork' as he kept calling it. Reaching over, he patted my head, told me he'd be right back, then left the room. He exited out a door, which let in a little light before it swung shut. As soon as he left, I begin to chant, calling the black flame, holy light, whatever I could, forth. I concentrated hard on melting the chains holding me to the table. Suddenly, the chains begin to heat up, faster than I could have done it. They begin to brand my flesh and I screamed. From behind me, the clicking started again, and my wings were pulled further out, and each wing was pulled in a seperate direction. The pressure was near unbearable as they were stretched to the breaking point before I silenced myself.

A cold laugh came from the corner of the room. "Silly girl... did you really thing I'd not take precautions against you? I know EXACTLY what you can and cannot do angel." He held his hand out over me, and the carvings begin to move, twisting my flesh with them. Suddenly my body jerked upward, against the chains, and he pulled his hands back. "Now... you can't do anything." he said nodding his head. "Your magic is bound to your body." "Aye... it is." came a familiar voice. I nearly puked as he stepped in my view. IT was Denny... but just a mirage of him... but it was him just the same. "See princess," Spectre said as he motioned to Denny. "I showed him what I was doing and he wanted to help..." Denny walked around next to my body and looked Spectre in the eyes. “I won't touch her, but... I want to see what you can do.”

I stare at Denny, but his eyes are on Spectre. I can't speak, I can't move... even if I wasn't bound. This man, my father, my protector.. is egging this demon on? Suddenly a sharp pain travels down my arm, and I twist my head in that direction, and begin to scream, even the pressure on my wings can't stop me. He removed the skin on my arm.... all of it. Smiling at me, he dangles the flesh above my nose and I gag, but manage to keep the bile down. I stop screaming in time for the machine attatched to my wings to have twisted the appendages to an awkward angle, almost to the breaking point. Spectre's smile grows wider as he suddenly grows fangs, then lowers his head above my exposed tendons, then begins to feast. Chewing the muscles off of the bones. I can't hold back now, I let out an ear shattering scream, and the machine begins to work again. He continues to eat my arm, exposing the bone and I continue to scream. Suddenly there is twin pains in my back and my eyes roll back as the machine yanks my wings from my back, pulling them completely away from my body. I have had them cut off, cut them off myself once, but this was an entirely new meaning of pain. It felt like he ripped my soul from my body when the machine pulled them off. My entire body begin to thrash against the chains, screams and sobs erupting from my chest.

I felt the blood gushing from my back as a sinister laugh came from Denny. “Good call Eric.” he chuckled then looked at me. His eyes were strangely blank, almost like the glass eyes you see in dolls. “Ye mortal now lass....” he murmured, then looked back to Spectre. “She's uneven too.... I'd do what ye did to her arm to the rest of her body.” Spectre grinned and nodded, before repeating his actions to my other arm. At this point, the edges of my vision begin to blur, and I sent up a silent thanks, thinking I was finally going to die or pass out. But just as unconsciousness begin to claim me, there was a sharp stabbing pain in my left leg, snapping me out of it. This went on for what seemed like hours... Once done with my arms, he started on my feet and legs, first peeling the skin off, then devouring the tissue and muscles underneath it.... every time I'd start to pass out, he'd hurt me somewhere else on my body to keep me awake. As he did his cutting, he replayed every mistake I had ever made. Denny leered over me, saying how unworthy I was to be his creation... How I couldn't even cut it as a Vampire, thats why Stiletto had abandoned me. I felt all my doubts, all the guilt I had ever experienced filling my mind. I wept, the memories worse than what was happening me at the moment. But he begin to focus more on my body then...

He cut me open, pulled my organs out, one by one to show them to me, then placed them on his tray... then peeled the rest of my flesh from my body tossing it in the corner. Slowly he begin to pull my bones apart, one by one, piling them up on the floor as well till I was nothing but a head with a exposed torso. I couldn't scream or cry anymore, my throat raw from the hours of his play. Somewhere during all this, Denenthorn had disappeared, but not before coaxing Spectre to kill me, then bring me back and redo the torture, again and again.... For the first time in my life I prayed that Death would hold onto me this time when I met him...

Finally Spectre seemed to get bored with my compliance and waved his hand, the chains melting away. He stuck his hand in my chest, and ripped out my heart, letting me watch it thump a precious few times before it stopped.... and finally darkness claimed me. My grandfather was waiting for me once I arrived, shaking his head. “You know... you are no longer my family by blood.” he murmured and motioned for me to follow him. “I really should keep you in Hades... if it wasn't for the fact that I value my son's sanity I would...” I shrugged and walked behind him, “When did you stop claiming me as family?” I asked. “The day you chose to undo what my son did, and became that abomination that you clung to for so long. You do know vampyres are truly damned correct?” I chuckled. “Aye, but without your son to teach me his ways... I became just another demonic presence floating around, unguided, unsure.... I knew what a vampire was, and what was expected of me then... so...” Shrugging I stopped as he did, looking at a door. “This is true...” he agreed and looked behind him to me, studying me. “You never did make sense to me... why my son fell in love with you... but then again love isn't something I ever understood.” He held a bony hand out toward the door. “That day you called me forth for that girl, to give up her soul, I took something from you... Lets see if your friend will let me give it back because I truly do not want you in my domain...” Again I snickered and walked through the door reappearing in the room where Spectre remained. He was carving my eyeballs out as we walked in, and seeing us, he popped them in his mouth, grinning and chewing them. I felt ill... but a spirit can't vomit can they? Spectre and Death stared at each other a moment, before Death turned to me. “Savannah, he's going to give you back to Toxia... but.. the curses he has put on you, only Denenthorn can remove them...” I begin to protest, Denny stood there and helped him do this to me.. but Death held up his hand, and I lost the ability to speak. “Learn from this... “ he said softly. “You made a sacrifice for one you loved... and I am repaying that now.... “ With a flick of his wrist, suddenly I was back in my body, and oh god the pain...

Spectre begin to put me back together, taking his sweet ass time of course... I felt everything, every twist, every cut, every pop of my joints he fixed. Once I was back into one piece, he begin to carve again, but this time, he chanted as he did it, and I felt my flesh burn like it was lit with hell fire itself... Chains circled themselves around my wrists and ankles, and I could feel him close. I turned my head to where I thought he was, and he gripped my sockets, “Where you land, you are bound until Denenthorn decides you are worth saving child... only he will be able to remove the marks, the chains, but no one, not even god himself... will remove the memories.” He then placed his hand on my head, and there was a burst of pain, then I fell, landing on concrete somewhere... the last thing I remember was someone saying my name, and I finally got to slip into the blackness where nothing could hurt me.

Leave a message at the beep

So, with help from Cid and Denny I decided to pay a visit outside of Toxia.  I want to see how the world outside of the town has changed.

I arrived without fanfare, and without any troubles.  It was dark when I got to the city, which was unexpected since the sun still shined in Tox when I left.  But the darkness gave me cover to hide my wings, and halo.  I stepped out onto the street and looked around.  It was a weird feeling, knowing that I was among so many normal beings... no lycans to watch my back from, no demons to kill.  Although I'm not so dumb to think they don't exist on the mainland, I just knew they had to hide here, where as I did not.  I smiled and begin to explore, reaching into my pocket I pulled out the card I had slipped out of Denny's pocket, and begin to look for an atm, if they still existed.

Once I managed to get a few hundred dollars out of the atm, I pocketed the card and searched for the second thing on my list.  Someone to make me some I.D. With a hundred dollars, and a pretty smile, it wasn't long till I had that as well, with my given name.  I checked into what looked like a good hotel, and went to my room.  On the way there, I saw this apparition, a black decaying flesh like thing with a skeleton mask.  I shook off the feeling of dread and locked my door, once I was there, then summoned a ward to keep anything evil out of my room for the night.  Then, I slept, in a bed by myself.  Strange as it was, I missed the feel of Tora's body, the way her tail curled around my waist, the way she made soft purrs in her sleep... but I managed a few hours, waking with the sun the next day.

Day one, I explored, for a while until I found a public library.  Was slightly shocked that they still existed, but was happy that they did.  Before there, I went to a bank, and with my newly made identification, as well as a little bit of charm managed to clean out my old bank account... funny how much interest accumulates in fifty years... Once the bank run was over I stopped by a cafe on the street and ate, real food.  Not just food I summoned but actual food that had been prepared by another person... and it was fresh!  The next stop was finally the library... where I begin to dig into several things.  What the legends said about Toxia, what the newpapers had said about me... Kept feeling like I was being watched... thought I saw that apparition again, well several times.  I swear the clean air was fucking with my head.

I found little on Toxia that wasn't in a child's horror fiction.  It was amusing that they threatened bad children with our town much like my mom used to threaten me with the wooden nanny.  There was a bit about me in the paper.  They assumed that I collapsed under pressure and committed suicide.  I wasn't expecting much more than that.  I then tried to research my brother...  He had made it out.... He had a life after I died.  There was little about him, other than he became a pastor, he had never gotten married.  When he was thirty-five he went insane according to the papers, kept speaking of a place called 'toxia' and his sister that had killed herself so many years before.

It was almost laughable, but then I stumbled across something disturbing.  He had been locked away, then disappeared, from a high security asylum.  The cameras showed him in bed, but when the orderly showed up the next morning, there was nothing there.  I tried to look more up but found nothing else.  I was disappointed but I took what news I could, packed up my stuff and went to the hotel for the second night.

My second day I visited a cathedral.  Fucking place gave me chills. Maybe there is something to this afterlife, this god crap.  Since I was brought back, I've called Denny my god, because he is my creator, but maybe there's something more?  Went to see a voodoo shop, a different one from the one in Tox.  Got a tarot card reading...
17 - The Star (Reversed)

You are having creative blocks, and potentially good opportunities are moving away from your current path.  Living entirely in a dream world with unrealistic expectations that get you no where.  Be advised to watch out for people appearing to reach for the stars.  Dont be enchanted by weavers of dreams.


[09:41:59]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 0 - The Fool (Upright)

A new opportunity offers potential, but involves risk.  An unexpected turn of events could bring you excitement and rejuvenation, but look before you leap.  You view others concern for you as an irritant: if a venture is worthwhile, it will withstand your caution of others concern. There is amusement and spontaneity, so you may soon enjoy the company of entertaining individuals or events.


[09:42:02]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 1 - The Magician (Upright)

You have all the ingredients at your disposal for success.  Even if you think your dreams are out of reach, you can reveal hidden knowledge about a person or situation, so consider every opportunity in a positive light: Dont reject offers out of hand. Someone will give notice of important journeys and a new burst of creativity.  Have confidence in your ability to manage your life at all levels, you are blessed with energy and the support of those around you.


[09:42:02]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 9 - The Hermit (Reversed)

Stubbornness and a refusal to face certain problems that you know have been partly created by your own attitude.  Resist the temptation to display anger or resentment, and look for meaningful solutions rather than advice tactics.


[09:42:06]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 15 - The Devil (Upright)

You are tied to a commitment that is enslaving you, but it is your perception of this situation that allows it to continue in a way that is ultimately unsatisfying.  A financial agreement, relationship, or career commitment has become imprisonment rather than liberation.  Follow your higher instincts and protect your long term future.  In one jump you can be free.


[09:42:06]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 7 - The Chariot (Reversed)

Oppression and restriction. A driving force in your life gets out of control and you suffer from others lack of sensitivity to your basic needs. When selfishness in a relationship or business partnership knows no bounds, create some distance before you assert what you will, and will not accept.


[09:42:09]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 4 - The Emperor (Upright)

There is an influence of an older person who holds fast to tradition.  He will protect you and support you in any venture as he is an honest ally even though he can be domineering.  He lives in a dynamic, creative storm powered by the strength of his will, yet his stubborn marital attitude leaves no room for subtlety or nurturing qualities represented by his consort - partner or wife.  Do not assume that an individual with a strong personality has good judgment.


[09:42:10]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 5 - The Hierophant (Reversed)

Untruth, half truth, and every thing but the whole truth.  Information is kept from you and what you here is distorted.  Others may politic against you for their own ends.  There is lack of freedom, misinformation causes restriction and upset.  Treat what you here from others with due skepticism, and protect yourself where possible from others dishonest attempts to gain favor.


[09:42:13]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 11 - The Strength (Upright)

A situation that requires a gentler, intuitive response if resolution is to be reached.  Rather than slay the lion, errant negotiation and calm control  will bring forces to heel and ensure steady progress.  There is an inner conflict between your intuition and the practical approach to solving the problem.  Perhaps wrestling with a decision or a project that requires a synthesis of masculine and feminine qualities if is to succeed.


[09:42:13]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 12 - The Hanged Man (Reversed)

A refusal to change or examine your true attitudes.  Instead of gaining a fresh perspective, you remain in a limbo of conflict.  In the upright position, the hanged man is safely tethered to a growing tree, supported by his natural instincts.  When reversed, he is bound to the earth and shackled by materialism.  Consider your approach to a problem and take guidance from your unconscious, or be prepared to waste more precious time.

More shopping, more eating.  I got something for everyone I cared about, including Denny's request.  I did have the book inscribed with his name.  That was my own little touch.  Again the feeling of being watched, all damn day.  I thought I seen that figure again, but everytime I tried to get a better look he disappeared.  I'm going home tomorrow so I'll wrap this up.  Next entry I'll be back in Toxia....

Life story...

On my way to the church last night, I spotted Denethorn perched on the bench outside of Haven.  Of course I skipped over and decided to talk, its been a few days since I had spoke with him.  Its weird, thinking back over the last few months.  That angel used to be one I could not stand.. one that I absolutely wanted to destroy.  Now, he's my mentor, my father... and I hate to admit it, but I think I've actually grown to care about him...*shudders*  His wife is a delight though, I went to her about a problem a few weeks ago, and she fixed it without so much as a question... where as he would have questioned me till the death... She's one I'm proud to call family as well...

Speaking of family, after Denny and I exchanged barbs, we got on the subject of my life story... my history in our shithole little town.  It surprised me that he was interested.... even more surprising I told him the story that very few know about myself.... and on the heels of that encounter I feel the need to write it down, preserve it perhaps?  Those whom do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it... and most of mine I have no desire to repeat.

I grew up in Toxia.  I was born and raised in the same shitty town I call home now.  The daughter of a factory worker, and a waitress at the diner.  I had an older brother, Remi.  We lived decently enough.  Mom didn't have to constantly work at the diner, but rather worked there before Christmas, mine and Remi's birthdays, whenever we needed a bit of spare cash.  I was spoiled... There was nothing I wanted that I didn't get.... Remi rightly called me a brat almost all the time.  I never disputed that.  I was spoiled and I knew it... but it didn't bother me.  I was destined for greater things than to be cursed to live in Toxia all my life.  I excelled in school, made the grades, the teams... anything and everything went my way, whether I deserved it or not....

I left home two months after graduating... Having gotten into my first choice school, I put a couple hours between my family and I.  I wanted nothing to do with them, or that town... I rarely went home, generally only for Christmas break.  I found an apartment and a job close to campus... and started really living MY life.

The day before the 'incident' as we all call it now, my mother called me.  She had this feeling that something bad was going to happen.  The factory workers had all been whispering that the owners of the factory had been doing illegal dumping of the chemicals... I blew her off.  Stuff had happened before didn't it?  Didn't the town always pull through?  I wanted nothing to do with them or my recent connection to my past.  I didn't want my friends to know the hicks that were family... So I told her no, and hung up, going to work or school.... I can't remember now.

The more I thought of it that day, the more uneasy I got.  My mom had called me repeatedly throughout the day, and I kept hitting silence on my phone.  Finally, shortly after it got dark, I gave up.  I tried to call her back.  The phone didn't ring, it didn't do anything... it was dead air.  I was supposed to go to a party but instead I packed a small bag of clothes, grabbed my keys and phone, and hopped in my car, driving home.

The years have twisted my memory of how exactly I got to the city... but even if I live to be as old as Denenthorn himself, I will never forget the sight that greeted me.  Buildings had fallen, fires everywhere, bodies, blood... the sirens... The way they wailed... sent chills down my spine.  I immediately tried to go home, but never could find it.  Maybe my mind was messed up from all the destruction... but I never saw our home again.  Slowly, I made my way to the diner, where I knew my mom had been scheduled to work... and she had been there for her shift.  She had a rose tattooed on her wrist.  She had gotten it when I was in elementary school.  It was her's and dad's names in the flower, with mine and Remi's names on the leaves... thats how I knew it was her body parts that littered the diner floor.  Her .... torso, her blood... I vomited... and ran out of the building.

As the night wore on, I saw creatures... such strange beasts... Things I had never seen, not even in the worst of movies.  I stuck to the shadows, to the alleys... I managed to make it to where the factory was, trying to find my father or brother.  My brother had started working there shortly after I left for school.  I ran into a couple people that my family knew, and begged them for any information... Remi hadn't showed up for his shift, but my dad had... and my dad, got sucked into something when the first series of explosions started.  He was gone as well.  No one had any information on Remi... And I realized I was alone... and that I was going to die.  Somehow, I found my way into an abandoned building, I found a dark corner and curled up... having what was certainly a mental breakdown.  My family was gone and it was my fault... I cried for a long time... the sounds of the chaos outside filled my head.. the smells of blood, death, burnt flesh invaded my lungs... Somehow, unconsciousness found me after what seemed like an eternity.

I woke up, and found myself still in this nightmare, but I wasn't alone.  There was a male standing a few feet from me, with his arms out, beckoning me.  He promised to take away the pain, take away the loss.. what choice did I have?  I made a choice that night.. and I died for it.  Died by his hand, by his lips...

Years went by, and finally he had to leave me... said he had business and he set me loose on the city.  After so long being imprisoned, I was lost.  I had no clue how to hunt, how to survive... I found my way to the shelter, and was taken in by Servher... he was the feline that ran the joint.  I spent awhile there, making friends, exploring, learning what I could till the day the Matriarch of the Reckoning showed up.  Lady Vishous as Servher called her.  She took me in, and begin to show me exactly how to live as a vampire... how the world was mine for the bleeding... and I had a family again, for a short time...

The rest of my story will have to come later... I find myself almost wallowing since Denenthorn asked for my tale.  The history of my time here seems to be crowding my thoughts... Perhaps after I write them down.... my path will become clear once more...