Seiphere... my vampire and demonic sire, my former... whatever you want to call him, is back. The day I walked into the church and seen him... it was as if my world started to spin in the other direction. It had been so long since I had seen him, spoken to him, touched him... It does not escape my sense of irony that after I had a conversation with his creator that he reappeared in Tox... His reappearance however has added to the confusion that is, what seems to be lately, my brain. As a vampire emotions were simple. We didn't have them. As an angel now... I do have them and they are hateful things. Shea and I have gotten close... he stood watch over me when Rollo and Russ brought me back to the church. He guards me when Denny's not around... and... feelings have developed but with Seiphere back... its an entirely different ballgame. Seiphere has changed, he's more.... well he's not trying to rip my eyes out or drain me like he used to. He seems to enjoy my company as well as my very.. presence. So I am torn between an Angel and a Demon... Denny would rip me a new one, and probably a few more if he found out I was even on speaking terms with Sei. His ... kill all demons order has never been as hard to follow as it is now.
Speaking of Denenthorn, he is back. I was overjoyed to see him back and in one piece. I actually hugged him... before realizing what I was doing and stopped. He angers me though... he acts as if Spectre is undefeatable. Everyone, even Satan himself has a weakness.... I feel like he's keeping something from me.... but I cannot force it out of him, nor do I want to. the being that fixed my wings told me more than Denny did about Spectre... I may be able to defeat him, but if I do... I may risk dying myself and I do not think Death will let me back again. It was weird, that thing that took over Denny's body. He followed me, spoke to me, but only me... however he granted me my immortality back... thats all that really matters to me.
Since I've gotten back to my tasks, and my duties on the council, my days are a little busier, but not as full as I would like. The Shadows are eerily quiet... I haven't seen Jan around so I suppose he left them as well. I see Esso, and Sandra... as well as a couple of the newer darkie darks, but the house as a whole I feel is falling. I suppose this is supposed to give me a sense of pride and accomplishment, but it doesn't. What is light without darkness to balance it out?
Something strange has been happening since I came back from Spectre... I feel more restless than normal. Its like I have an itch I can't scratch, like I'm suddenly trapped in my skin. Theres also almost a dull.... thrumming through my body constantly. A dull ache perhaps? But not painful, just... letting me know, it wants something I am not providing it. Theres a voice inside my head, that repeats itself over and over, telling me what I need... but its really more of a buzz and if I concentrate enough, it goes away, sometimes. I need pain... it tells me that, but it wouldn't be appropriate for a Herald, Denenthorn's daughter to boot, to go seeking a shadow to hurt her like I used to do so long ago. So I fight it. The days stretch on...
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