Leave a message at the beep

So, with help from Cid and Denny I decided to pay a visit outside of Toxia.  I want to see how the world outside of the town has changed.

I arrived without fanfare, and without any troubles.  It was dark when I got to the city, which was unexpected since the sun still shined in Tox when I left.  But the darkness gave me cover to hide my wings, and halo.  I stepped out onto the street and looked around.  It was a weird feeling, knowing that I was among so many normal beings... no lycans to watch my back from, no demons to kill.  Although I'm not so dumb to think they don't exist on the mainland, I just knew they had to hide here, where as I did not.  I smiled and begin to explore, reaching into my pocket I pulled out the card I had slipped out of Denny's pocket, and begin to look for an atm, if they still existed.

Once I managed to get a few hundred dollars out of the atm, I pocketed the card and searched for the second thing on my list.  Someone to make me some I.D. With a hundred dollars, and a pretty smile, it wasn't long till I had that as well, with my given name.  I checked into what looked like a good hotel, and went to my room.  On the way there, I saw this apparition, a black decaying flesh like thing with a skeleton mask.  I shook off the feeling of dread and locked my door, once I was there, then summoned a ward to keep anything evil out of my room for the night.  Then, I slept, in a bed by myself.  Strange as it was, I missed the feel of Tora's body, the way her tail curled around my waist, the way she made soft purrs in her sleep... but I managed a few hours, waking with the sun the next day.

Day one, I explored, for a while until I found a public library.  Was slightly shocked that they still existed, but was happy that they did.  Before there, I went to a bank, and with my newly made identification, as well as a little bit of charm managed to clean out my old bank account... funny how much interest accumulates in fifty years... Once the bank run was over I stopped by a cafe on the street and ate, real food.  Not just food I summoned but actual food that had been prepared by another person... and it was fresh!  The next stop was finally the library... where I begin to dig into several things.  What the legends said about Toxia, what the newpapers had said about me... Kept feeling like I was being watched... thought I saw that apparition again, well several times.  I swear the clean air was fucking with my head.

I found little on Toxia that wasn't in a child's horror fiction.  It was amusing that they threatened bad children with our town much like my mom used to threaten me with the wooden nanny.  There was a bit about me in the paper.  They assumed that I collapsed under pressure and committed suicide.  I wasn't expecting much more than that.  I then tried to research my brother...  He had made it out.... He had a life after I died.  There was little about him, other than he became a pastor, he had never gotten married.  When he was thirty-five he went insane according to the papers, kept speaking of a place called 'toxia' and his sister that had killed herself so many years before.

It was almost laughable, but then I stumbled across something disturbing.  He had been locked away, then disappeared, from a high security asylum.  The cameras showed him in bed, but when the orderly showed up the next morning, there was nothing there.  I tried to look more up but found nothing else.  I was disappointed but I took what news I could, packed up my stuff and went to the hotel for the second night.

My second day I visited a cathedral.  Fucking place gave me chills. Maybe there is something to this afterlife, this god crap.  Since I was brought back, I've called Denny my god, because he is my creator, but maybe there's something more?  Went to see a voodoo shop, a different one from the one in Tox.  Got a tarot card reading...
17 - The Star (Reversed)

You are having creative blocks, and potentially good opportunities are moving away from your current path.  Living entirely in a dream world with unrealistic expectations that get you no where.  Be advised to watch out for people appearing to reach for the stars.  Dont be enchanted by weavers of dreams.


[09:41:59]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 0 - The Fool (Upright)

A new opportunity offers potential, but involves risk.  An unexpected turn of events could bring you excitement and rejuvenation, but look before you leap.  You view others concern for you as an irritant: if a venture is worthwhile, it will withstand your caution of others concern. There is amusement and spontaneity, so you may soon enjoy the company of entertaining individuals or events.


[09:42:02]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 1 - The Magician (Upright)

You have all the ingredients at your disposal for success.  Even if you think your dreams are out of reach, you can reveal hidden knowledge about a person or situation, so consider every opportunity in a positive light: Dont reject offers out of hand. Someone will give notice of important journeys and a new burst of creativity.  Have confidence in your ability to manage your life at all levels, you are blessed with energy and the support of those around you.


[09:42:02]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 9 - The Hermit (Reversed)

Stubbornness and a refusal to face certain problems that you know have been partly created by your own attitude.  Resist the temptation to display anger or resentment, and look for meaningful solutions rather than advice tactics.


[09:42:06]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 15 - The Devil (Upright)

You are tied to a commitment that is enslaving you, but it is your perception of this situation that allows it to continue in a way that is ultimately unsatisfying.  A financial agreement, relationship, or career commitment has become imprisonment rather than liberation.  Follow your higher instincts and protect your long term future.  In one jump you can be free.


[09:42:06]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 7 - The Chariot (Reversed)

Oppression and restriction. A driving force in your life gets out of control and you suffer from others lack of sensitivity to your basic needs. When selfishness in a relationship or business partnership knows no bounds, create some distance before you assert what you will, and will not accept.


[09:42:09]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 4 - The Emperor (Upright)

There is an influence of an older person who holds fast to tradition.  He will protect you and support you in any venture as he is an honest ally even though he can be domineering.  He lives in a dynamic, creative storm powered by the strength of his will, yet his stubborn marital attitude leaves no room for subtlety or nurturing qualities represented by his consort - partner or wife.  Do not assume that an individual with a strong personality has good judgment.


[09:42:10]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 5 - The Hierophant (Reversed)

Untruth, half truth, and every thing but the whole truth.  Information is kept from you and what you here is distorted.  Others may politic against you for their own ends.  There is lack of freedom, misinformation causes restriction and upset.  Treat what you here from others with due skepticism, and protect yourself where possible from others dishonest attempts to gain favor.


[09:42:13]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 11 - The Strength (Upright)

A situation that requires a gentler, intuitive response if resolution is to be reached.  Rather than slay the lion, errant negotiation and calm control  will bring forces to heel and ensure steady progress.  There is an inner conflict between your intuition and the practical approach to solving the problem.  Perhaps wrestling with a decision or a project that requires a synthesis of masculine and feminine qualities if is to succeed.


[09:42:13]  Tarot Machine (Ver. 1.2KE - 3 Prime - IM - 60 / 40):
 12 - The Hanged Man (Reversed)

A refusal to change or examine your true attitudes.  Instead of gaining a fresh perspective, you remain in a limbo of conflict.  In the upright position, the hanged man is safely tethered to a growing tree, supported by his natural instincts.  When reversed, he is bound to the earth and shackled by materialism.  Consider your approach to a problem and take guidance from your unconscious, or be prepared to waste more precious time.

More shopping, more eating.  I got something for everyone I cared about, including Denny's request.  I did have the book inscribed with his name.  That was my own little touch.  Again the feeling of being watched, all damn day.  I thought I seen that figure again, but everytime I tried to get a better look he disappeared.  I'm going home tomorrow so I'll wrap this up.  Next entry I'll be back in Toxia....