Its always odd, even to me, how much being close to death, makes you think. As I sit here and write this, my mind seems to flip through the previous few months and all that has happened. The most notable thing, was that Drac abandoned me. I do not think, I shall ever trust another soul as I trusted him. He was a demon after all, and it was inevitable I am told, but it doesn't seem to dull the pain. Even knowing now, he still keeps in contact with people except me... it hurts. And not in a good way. Shortly after I came to the realization that he no longer cared if I lived or died, my powers seemed to be reverting. I became, volatile, unstable. Setting fire to any and all things, screwing people's mentality up even when I didn't mean to. Since I was in the library, I knew I had to fix it so I took a visit to the voodoo shop to visit my new friend Cole, and have him lock away the demonic powers since Drac had taken any control I had of them with him when he left.
My powers didn't seem too eager to leave me. They clung to me as a child does to it's mother the first day of school. Cole begin to get frustrated and pissed me off since he knew the angrier I was, the more power I could pull. I think he began to develop a taste for the demonic power he was trying to harness because soon he begin to drain more energy from me than I could regenerate. I tried to tell him to stop but he just grew more angry and with a wave of his hand, I, along with my demon side, was pulled from my body and trapped in a stone. I think some deep small part of him knew what he did, but his inexperience was the least of my issues. Now my body was a shell as I was trapped. I knew nothing and could see nothing for however long it was. It was like being in limbo once more. Unpleasant and boring. Next thing I knew, I was face down in front of the church, once more with wings on my back. Denenthorn had brought me back, though how was a question that was answered later.
The wings didn't last long. I hated them as I did before. And having to bury Jaco as well as Top was hard on me. That is a scene I never want to watch again for as long as I live. Jaco plunging from the top of Port Authority and dragging Tops with him... The sight of his broken body still haunt me at night when my fears and doubts begin to suffocate me. And what was left of Tops... Even me, who has ripped apart countless people, played in as many entrails as a butcher, that gave me nightmares. She was an innocent bystander, however why she was in Toxia when she told me she was sent for a mission is something I have questioned.
I took over the library when she died. And the family was my salvation for a time. Seeing Jaco back as an angel was a huge shock. Him with wings.. but he wears them better than I ever could. But I was never happy with wings. So I had Shadow rip them off. I hadn't counted on him not knowing to stop the wounds, so I think I bled to death, and Jaco brought me back as a cat... of all things, a cat. But I suppose it is better than most things that could have happened. And my family was my support, my everything. And I poured energy, time, devotion into the library, and we grew and was happy, for a time.
Denenthorn walked into the library late one evening with a letter from the higher ups. He took over from me. I stuck around to try and ease the transition but it isn't an easy one. We've lost family member after family member to various reasons. It seems some days I'm completely alone. I still have Rai and Zoey, but they have their own issues to deal with their Pack. And Denenthorn continues to push what fragile trust I have with him. Stabbing me in the back, tossing me from a building, mocking me when I took on his pain. This coming after him forcing six thousand years worth of memories his life into my head when he reformed me. He has no secrets from me now. And that is a blessing and a curse in itself.
But now, I am dying. I ordered Stray to pull the poison that flowed through Denenthorn's system and force it into my own. I had forgotten for a moment that I was a mere mortal and this poison that had been slowly killing an immortal was far worse than anything I had experienced. Tonight a change will happen, and whether I am alive or dead when the morning sun rises is up to the three I've entrusted with my life. Death is calling me and I do not want to answer...
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